The View from the Tub

Valentines

2009-02-14T18:08:00.000-08:00

Can't find the right words, so I'm giving up. Just smiling. Smiling is good :)

Summer ahead!

2009-02-13T22:28:00.000-08:00

Today is the 13th of February and as it stands almost all of my weekends are already planned from now until October. Between SCA events, trips home & trips to visit out of town friends, I have barely a free Saturday until the passes all close. Last year was much the same and let me tell you, it was exhausting. As much as I love going and doing, I was so excited by the end of last season to just be staying at home for once.

So far, I have 8 SCA events scheduled and I hope to fit in a couple more local ones as the summer goes on. My camp gear is all cleaned and ready to go, I just have to finish my garb. I have 3 dresses that are just hems and closures away from completion, then I need to start on chemises to go under them, linen scarves to tie up my hair and if I'm really lucky, a wool hood to wear with my short cloak. I have a couple other dresses in the hopper as well, but one step at a time, right?

I camp every season with a girl friend and we're both chomping at the bit to get this summer rolling. We're working on clothes for the season, as well as the constant task of updating and upgrading gear. This can be a very expensive habit and as neither of us has a significant other that plays, we're holding off on switching to period pavilions and all wooden tables and chairs. Camping like that is amazing and we both hope to be there some day, but doing it just for the 2 of us is a bit much for now. So we content ourselves with accurate, kick-ass garb & accessories and look forward to someday.

So around all of that sewing, I also hope to make a pair of chairs for camp. I built a collapsible, round-topped table last year and need nifty seating to match. This is the fun of camp furniture, it needs to look like it walked out of a museum, and still be able to be broken down into basic planks so it can be packed safely and easily. This is not a simple task. My wood working skills are minimal, so the chairs scare me a tiny bit. Not that it's likely to stop me. I love the challenge of working out a new design and making all the pieces fit. Now if I can just figure out comfortable as well as period looking, I'll be golden.

Some where, between events, I get to go home, hug my parents, do some fishing with my dad and welcome home a friend from service overseas. This is going to be an awesome year! Now will it just get started, already? :)

Home

2008-12-22T13:37:00.000-08:00

So I'm sitting in the library at the state college I went to for one whole year. Staring out the window at a campus covered in snow and having the weirdest feeling that this is all wrong. I shouldn't be here, I've moved on. I moved away, have a career, have a life outside this tiny town.

At the same time, it's almost healing to visit this place again. To be back where I was when my life was all possibilities. Where each new day could change my path forever. It's so much the same as it was then, and yet many small changes remind me that this is now, that I'm not 19. The campus green is gone, now buried under a building full of classrooms. Parking lots have been moved, sidewalks rerouted. The bells in the clock tower just chimed. And again I have to shake the feeling that this is still 1999.

Going home has the eeriest effects on me. I've already run into people that I went to school with. You have that strained 2 minute conversation about where do you work, where do you live, are you just home for the Holiday? You walk away not knowing if they were glad to see you, if it should evolve into meeting for coffee to really catch up or if they're thankful to be out of your presence until the next time you awkwardly bump into each other in another 3 years.

My 10 year high school reunion is this summer. It will be interesting to see how everyone hasn't changed and who ended up married to whom after we graduated and went our separate ways. I feel like my life is in order enough to not be embarrassed about comparing files with all the ghosts from my past. I can't hold a candle to the guy who is now a Super Bowl Ring sporting, Pro Ball Player, but I work for an international corporation and have a title that sounds important if you don't really know what I do. I know it shouldn't matter how everyone else turned out, that I should be happy just to be me, but who is really ever happy with that?

Back From the Dead

2008-12-13T22:34:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I've avoided this for far too long. 11 months later, I should surely have new things to say, but I'm not entirely certain that I do. Work is still much the same, though a transfer to a new category has meant a lot of late nights trying to get a handle on things. Life outside of work is basically non-existent, which is sad in so many ways. I go to work, stay late, and then come home and crash on the couch. Wow, I'm so exciting.

It's the Christmas season, so I should be out drinking and making merry, but really haven't been into it this year. I've been a bit of a shut in. I can't seem to make myself put on a happy face and go play nice with the other kids. All I want to do is sleep. I feel like I could sleep for the next 2 months and still not be caught up.

Today I should have been working on the new dresses I need to have sewn by January. "Should" is such an ugly word. It's actually been banished from my house. I'm not allowed to say it out loud, in the hopes that it will help keep our house stress free. My sister, who I share a house with, is an artist. Things that "should" be done are very low on her list. Which I can definitely see the joy in. Why force yourself to do the things that should be done, when there are so many more things that "could" be done.

My biggest problem is that my days are upside down. It's 10:45 pm and I'm just starting to feel like I have the energy and enough focus to work on all of my projects. I have 4 dresses designed in my head that I'd like to get done by the next event, but I'll be lucky if I get through 2. I feel like I could finally start working on them now, but my sister will be home soon and all the noise that sewing machines make is not so conducive to her being able to sleep. I'll have to start again tomorrow.

Really not looking forward to the first step. I have to redesign the pattern for the dress. It's a very fitted style and the last ones I made are now way too big. I'd give anything for a Simplicity pattern that could just be cut out and sewn, no thinking required, but accurate clothing from 1370 doesn't come from a Halloween costume book. Still trying to figure out exactly why I put myself through this...no I'm not. I'm crazy, that's why I do it.

Time to get a few things done, now that the creative juices are flowing. I'll keep you posted on the progress.

Holidays Survived

2008-01-01T20:21:00.000-08:00

Having hidden from my computer for the better part of the last month, in order to complete the arduous task of Christmas shopping, it's time to end my silence.

I have to say that this year was the roughest so far for finding the perfect gifts. Usually I'm done shopping long before the day, all gifts wrapped and under the tree, but not this year. Sadly, I was down to the wire this time. I think I went out every day after work, struggling to find what I was looking for. I actually fell prey to the holiday stress this year.

Shopping finished, work survived, we headed over the mountain to stay with the parents for the holiday. The week was wonderful, filled with movies, laughs, food and of course the horror of a 4 year old when she realized there were no more presents to open on Christmas morning. This year was also special in that I got to sit down to dinner with my parents and all 4 of my sisters. This has only happened a few times in my life and it was as a truly memorable night.

After a fun-filled drive back including snowy mountain passes and broken chains, it's good to be back in my own bath tub. Now I just have to figure out how to get rid of the 20 lbs I swear I gained in Christmas cookies and candied popcorn. :)

Decorating Gone Awry

2007-12-09T23:13:00.000-08:00

Today we decided to decorate the house for the Holidays. Now if you know us, you know that my sister and I each collect holiday figurines, of sorts. I have Angels galore and she has enough Santa's to make even Gimble's jealous.

Each year we pick a new theme for our tree. Red and Green, Blue and Silver, All Pastels. This year's went a little out the window. We decided that we wanted all color, all the time. We dug out our flashiest ornaments and ribbons and literally threw beaded garland at the tree. We kept giggling guiltily, like we were doing something very naughty. It brought back all those crazy memories of throwing tinsel at a tree covered in bright colored lights, just like when we were 5. Now we just need a few orange glass balls and maybe some pink marabou and we'll be all set.

So the tree is mostly done, and we get to spend the rest of the week sorting out all the figurines that have been unboxed and need spread throughout the house. Let's hope we can scrounge up enough flat surfaces this year. ;-)

Better today...

2007-12-06T19:57:00.000-08:00

I am mostly done being angry, but am still a little hurt. Or maybe sad is a better word. Sad that it's over before it began. Sad that those few short days of silly happy are gone again.

For my part, I suppose I can't blame him too much. You can't control how your heart moves, no matter how you may want to. Plus, I refuse to be anyone's second choice. "Anything less than mad, passionate, extraordinary love is a waste of my time." So I wish him well, and hope he finds that which will make him whole.

So back to my quiet life, and the search for something great. Perhaps it's time to go back to corsets and fluffy skirts and the land where chivalry still rules. It's always good to go back to the one place where you get to feel beautiful, no matter what. ;-)

Today, not so happy...

2007-12-02T20:44:00.001-08:00

Angry....That's all I can think about right now is that I am angry. Well, hurt and angry, but mostly angry.

When it comes to relationships, I play with all my cards on the table. This can be dangerous, as it's easy to get hurt, but the results are usually worth it. You get more honest relationships, both platonic and romantic.

I recently started getting to know someone and as always, was completely open. As it turns out, he was playing with an ace in the hole...this being that he is still in love with someone else. Whether he realized or not, I don't know, but either way, it's a little awful. I held nothing back and assumed I was getting the same from him. Perhaps the worst part is that I figured it out while reading his blog this morning. I guess you really can find anything in cyberspace...

To dream...

2007-11-30T23:48:00.000-08:00

For the third day in a row, I've opened my blog with the intention of posting, but find that I have nothing to say that is of note. I'm past tired, so there are a million philosophical thoughts rolling around in my head, but most I fear, would lead me down a very personal path. I would be tempted to discuss the inner most workings of my mind; things that we know aren't safe for the page. I'd have to fight the urge to discuss the meaning of happiness and how it plays such random roles in my life. Or why the sky is never quite the color one expects on the horizon.

Instead, I'll force myself to stick to the boring topics. Another work week has passed. Another weekend to come, filled with dinners out and movies watched. Nothing will be accomplished that really matters, no changing the world for me. Just 2 days spent in simple pursuits and then back to the office.

Perhaps tonight I'll fall asleep to the ideas of what I would do if I didn't have to go back to my desk on Monday. If suddenly the only thing on my agenda was fulfilling my desires. What would I do if I could really follow my dreams. Do I even remember what they are? I'll have to dig deep, but I bet they are still there, covered with mothballs.

Drink in a pub in Dublin
Perfect my French
Study Cultural Anthropology
Take Dancing lessons -Ballroom, Latin, Swing...all of it.
Watch every film on all of "AFI's Top 100" lists
Learn to Roman Ride - crazy, but I've wanted to do it since I was 5

I think those dreams will keep me busy for a while. What are yours?

Hiding from Ralphie

2007-11-25T22:06:00.000-08:00

Like most every one I know, my sister is addicted to 'A Christmas Story.' Every year, she plays it repeatedly from just after Thanksgiving until the new year. This year, the insanity started today. Not being such a fan myself, I have barricaded myself in my bedroom...far from "the soft glow of electric sex gleaming in the window." I'm not certain how I will handle bathroom breaks...wait I have earplugs. That should protect me. I have my TV turned up way too loudly, to prevent accidental exposure to Ralphie and his rampant desires for a Red Ryder BB gun. Must keep them from seeping through the walls.

I'm certain my disdain makes my sister think I'm un-American, as anybody living in our country for the last 24 years, clearly must be a die hard fan. Personally, I think one can only laugh at things being "fra-gee-lay" so many times. And no, it's not Italian. I guess I'll just have to embrace my ex-pat status and watch 'White Christmas' in peace.

Domestic Goddess 101

2007-11-25T01:22:00.000-08:00

As I sit looking out over a sea of neatly stacked, drying dishes I feel a great sense of accomplishment. The dishwasher has just run it's course, scrubbing all the small things, and I've carefully washed all of the over-sized and non-stick bakeware that just isn't allowed in the dishwasher. I take great pride in my now sparkling kitchen; not only in the order before me, but also in the bread baked from scratch that happens to be the cause of most of the mess.

Like so many Domestic Goddesses before me, I have mastered the craft of perfectly kneaded bread. I'd love to be able to thank my grandmother for this gift, as she was renowned for her skill, but she passed away before I was old enough to learn. My older sisters and cousins tell great stories of summers spent on my grand parent's ranch. Working hours in the kitchen with grandma, cooking for all the men. Of course to them, it was on par with slave labor, as running through the fields outside seemed a much better use of their time. By the time I was born, the ranch had been sold, and there were no men left to cook for. Grandma sat in her chair, crocheting afghans, and eating cocktail peanuts.

I got my lessons from grandma the round about way. She had thought my mother, shortly after my parents were married, and mama taught me. I used to love standing on a chair in the kitchen, watching as mama's skilled hands worked dough for rolls and pastries. I loved the way the dough felt. The yeast working made it almost feel alive. You knew it was done when you stuck your finger in and it sprang back. There was no exact science to it, it just felt right.

I fell in love with making dough. So much stress can be worked out in one good kneading session. I took the lessons mom gave and added my own feel to it. After a while, mom gave up making dough for pizza altogether. I was ecstatic when she said it was because mine turned out better. Really I think it was because she was tired of fighting me for the kitchen when bread was involved. I took over baking cinnamon rolls, as well. Cinnamon rolls are sacred in my family. We all use grandma's recipe which has a brown sugar glaze, rather than cream cheese icing. I've never been more proud than the day my oldest sister said my cinnamon rolls were just like grandma's. So even though I didn't get to spend my days in her kitchen, I like to think that she now spends a few in mine. Helping make my treats turn out just like hers.

Deck the Halls

2007-11-20T22:26:00.000-08:00

It's the week before Thanksgiving and in typical American fashion, the Christmas decorations went up in our office. The lobby is now nearly as festive as the North Pole. Pine garlands with shinny gold bows run the length of every banister. Six foot tall Nutcrackers keep sentry over the elevators. Giant wreaths sit waiting to be hung.

But the thing that fascinated me the most was the glitter all over the carpet. Being flung free from it's bonds on plastic snowflakes and glass ornaments; it was everywhere. On one of many trips across the lobby yesterday, all I could think about was how sad it would be when they vacuumed over night and all the glory would be gone. As the floor sparkled beneath my feet, it reminded me of how snow was always shown in our favorite childhood films. Shinning just a little too brightly to be real. Glinting in the sunlight, just like the carpet twinkled under the fluorescent lights.

Today, the glitter was gone. The floor was swept clean and the office was the sadder for it. My holiday wish for you is that you all find your own "glitter on the carpet." That one brief moment this season when you are once again reminded of the magic of Christmas.

A Dating Faux Pas

2007-11-18T23:23:00.000-08:00

So yesterday, I spent the entire day essentialy on a really long date. We hit a movie, shopped a little and wandered around in the city. We were having an amazing day until....

On the way to dinner, we passed a construction crane on the side of the road. This is roughly the conversation that followed:

Me>I have this theory about how all the cranes in Bellevue mate at night to make baby cranes.

Him>Huh..

Me> Haven't you noticed all the cranes in downtown Bellevue? They're every 12 feet.

Him> I have really no response to that...

He's as quiet as can be. You can actually hear the crickets. As a sick feeling is settling in my stomach, I'm thinking, "man my joke wasn't that bad."

Him> My roommate is one you know.

I'm thinking "What, is his name Crane?"

Me>Wait, you roommate is one what?

Him> Korean.

Me>OH....yeah. I said "cranes." Industrial sized, used for buildings.

Him> I thought you said "Koreans". Here I was thinking I was going to have to sit you down and have a serious talk about diversity.

Me> Yah, wondered why you were so quiet. Didn't you see the crane we passed?

Him> No. There were 2 guys walking on the side of the street. I thought maybe one of them was Korean, er something...

It just goes to show how quickly a good date can go terribly wrong. Having only recently started seeing each other, we hadn't broached any racial topics thus far. We were having a fun conversation which turned quickly into what he thought was off-color, to say the least. With the CD playing and the road noise, the mix-up was easy to understand. The chat that followed was filled with much laughter as we realized the extent of the error, but the night could have ended right there, on a very ugly note.

So for any of you on first dates, remember not to talk about cranes or Koreans, just to be on the safe side.

Back from the Grave

2007-11-15T18:34:00.001-08:00

As fate would have it, it was not Hypnus who was toying with me. It was the first stages of the flu. I tried equating it with the Black Plague, and though I felt like death, I'm certain it really wasn't that bad. I did get in some serious quality time with my couch and caught a few cheesy Lifetime movies. I'm sure both of these lead to my speedy recovery. That and a healthy dose of chicken noodle soup, delivered by a friend :)

Not much else to report tonight. Watch 'Grey's Anatomy', get more sleep and back to work tomorrow to pick up the mess of 2 day's absence.

Life is once again "a quick succession of busy nothings."

Sleep, or Lack There Of...

2007-11-13T04:45:00.000-08:00

It's 4:45 in the morning and I should not be awake, but for some unknown reason, I cannot sleep. Could be the fact that I'm coughing like crazy, but that's a sad excuse, as I usually sleep through all illnesses. It's generally my answer for everything. If I can't fix it on my own, I go to sleep. All things are better after a few hours, or days, worth of sleep.

Those of you who know me well, know that something has to be completely off kilter in my universe for me to be wide awake 5 minutes before the alarm goes off, let alone almost 3 hours. Personally, I can't figure out what it is, but I hope it's something massive. The world had better be coming to an end or there will be hell to pay for keeping me awake. And honestly even if the world is in it's final hours, I'd rather sleep through that too.

For my friends out there, if you'd like to offer insight as to why Hypnus is toying with me, I'd really love to know....

Sloth - My favorite deadly sin

2007-11-10T23:40:00.000-08:00

I stayed up until 5 am this morning. I can't remember how long it's been since I've been up that late. Needless to say, I didn't get out of bed until almost 1 o'clock. So today....

I did nothing!

I spent most of the day sitting on my bed, trying to convince myself to clean my room. I have a small bedroom, so it only takes about 3 things out of place to make it look like a disaster area. Today it looked like my closet had thrown up on the rest of the room. Not a single surface was visible under all of my scattered garments. This did concern me, but not enough to rouse me from the over-sized pillow I was leaning against and actually straighten up. I do have to commend myself for making it to the studio sofa in order to eat my dinner, but then was back to my bed, this time with a book.

The story is a rather sweet but cheesy tale of love written by a local author. I enjoy her books in that most of them are set here. The characters frequent places I've actually been. It's my favorite way to let off the stress of the work week. So 2 hours and 6 chapters later, I finally decided that I could at least fold the clean towels that were glaring at me from the basket on the floor. Yes they glare, I dare you to prove otherwise.

So at 10 pm, I was finally productive. Folding towels led to folding sweaters, which led to rearranging all the shelves in my closet. This is why I should never start folding. One thing leads to another and all of the sudden I've taken everything from the left side of my room and moved it to the right side. After this, of course, everything that was on the right, now has to go to the left. There goes my beautiful day of slothfulness...folding one towel and I'm doomed to an evening of organizing. So to protect yourself from this awful fate, to protect your slothfulness, I beg you, just throw your towels on the floor and leave them there.

Speaking of towels...

I think it's time for a bath.

There's Never Enough Beer

2007-11-10T14:51:00.001-08:00

Last night after work, my whole department, as well as the neighboring one, went out for birthday beers. Having 3 birthdays in our group this week is always cause for celebration, and boy can this group knock back a few. Personally, I don't drink beer, but most everyone else does, so copious quantities of pitchers were passed. It's such fun to watch your co-workers, who are completely respectable during the week, fall prey to the slosh of too much beer. There can never be too much beer, you say? After last night, I'm not so sure ;-)

The best part of everyone else's innebriated state is how comical they think they, well and you, are. Sad jokes beget peels of laughter, often including snorts and red-faces. The simplest phrase heard wrong becomes a tid-bit that just won't die. One such conversation from last night:

>You can't go out for sushi until you're comfortable enough to throw up in his lap.

>What are you doing in his lap? Throwing up sushi or choking on it?

>Choking on sushi? Is that what they call it these days?

>But are you choking or throwing up?

>Does that mean what I think it does? I hope you're not throwing up.

The conversation got slightly more graphic at this point, mostly buried under howling laughter. Needless to say, we were all a little worse for the wear, so funny or not, we giggled until our eyes watered, and breathes had to be gasped. Note to self, next time stick to the safe topics like the melting of the ice caps.

Let's hope next week's beers are just as fun! Cross your fingers for us all...

Days 2 & 3

2007-11-08T19:13:00.000-08:00

Once again starting with yesterday....

My annual employee evaluation was yesterday, (see how my years all roll at once?). I got kudos for designing some of our floor displays, as well as always doing everything I'm told, and doing it well. I seemed to fall short in that I don't do more than I'm told often enough to get noticed. Partially, this is my own fault. I don't toot my own horn enough to draw attention to all the things I do that just get brushed over. I've never been good at singing my own praises. It took me years to be able to say "I'm good at what I do." I was brought up to be humble and the two ideals rarely meet. But after 7 years with this company, I may have finally learned that I need to draw attention to myself whenever I can, if I ever want to get to the next level.

However, the next level isn't all it's cracked up to be. Basically you sell your soul and fight to survive to make it to the level after that. Doesn't Corporate America sound fun from where I sit? I do love my job, and am very thankful for how well our company protects it's employees, but its starting to feel like those commercials. You know the ones..."Do more than just survive the work week." I just wonder when I get to be a gladiator with nothing but my keyboard for a weapon.

Today was crammed full of meetings and way too many projects to complete in 8 hours. Just like every other day :) I got to play with a few toys, give my reviews of GPS brands and type frantically.

Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday. I get to wear jeans, comfy shoes and spend all day looking forward to sleeping in on Saturday. There are few things I enjoy more than sleeping in. There's just something about the perfect, all engrossing slumber that comes from knowing there is no alarm clock on the other side. Over the years, I have become a champion at sleeping through alarms. Now I am so afraid I'm going to miss that damned little buzzer that I just don't sleep at all. I won't let myself really sleep, knowing my attendance record is hanging over my head like the quintessential black cloud. Thus the beauty of Saturday morning...no alarm means I sleep like a baby. After 5 work days of essentially no sleep, I've been know to take 14 hours at a time on Friday night. Too bad you can't really ever fix a sleep deficit, but Lord knows I give it a 100% effort.

Only one more night and then the elusive sleep will once again be mine...

Day 1, Year 27

2007-11-07T21:04:00.001-08:00

Being inspired to blog by the Rambling Erik, I beg to put before you "attempt number one".

Yesterday was my 27th birthday. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about this. Birthday #7 was good...party games, smelly markers, hand-made hair ties. All the childhood greats. Birthday #20 was also not too bad, having spent the prior summer in Germany, I think I was still floating on all that beer (and waiting to drink legally here).

But by #27 they are starting to lose their charm. No more party hats, no more pin the tail on the donkey. Granted I did have a most enjoyable day, filled with good friends and of course "Ghostbusters" in all it's 1984 glory. But I'm not sure it compares to the joy of putting on your best "party" dress. Or the horror, for that matter, of un-inviting a friend...I was 5. Not one of my better moments. Rhiannon: I'm still truly sorry.

How is it that we let ourselves lose the unabashed celebration that used to come with each year? We let ourselves get so bogged down with the hum-drum of life that we forget it's okay to just let go and have a little too much fun. We need to grab hold of silly with both hands, and not let it fall prey to the sands of time.

I apologize if this is a little maudlin for your tastes, but this is just today's view from the tub.